All it Takes is One Glass of Wine...

ok, so maybe it was a glass and a half, but i swear that's all i've had to drink tonight!  a glass .5 of wine and a little ben harper can really turn me into the biggest nostalgic, reflective, philosophical, existential ball of mush.  i've been feeling this way lately, anyway, with it coming up on the anniversary of my move to nyc.  also, is it me, or does the change of seasons make one particularly reflective?  i usually feel it most when spring is upon us, but for some reason i'm really being moved by the fall weather.  the chill in the air is reminding me what it was like just one year ago when i moved up here, both nervous and excited at the same time.  so much has happened this past year.  i have faced some extreme highs and some extreme lows.  but lately, i'm really feeling quite sure that i'm meant to be nowhere but right here, right now.

tonight, as i was taking the subway home from dinner with some fantastic new nyc friends, two african american men got on the train and started beating their bongo drums.  the rhythms they were creating were so elemental, so earthly.  my heart swelled.  i couldn't help but smile as they played and when they finished, i gave them some loose change.  the music they created so perfectly represented how i feel about new york and my experience here so far.  this city breaks you down to your most basic, elemental self.  only from seeing your self in its most simplistic form, can you then begin to build yourself up into something melodic and beautiful.  this past summer was a really difficult one for me.  i fell into what can only be described as an existential crisis (this is cliche, i know, but it was what it was and i can't deny it).  i was wondering if i made the right decisions in almost every aspect of my life.  i was also forced to face many of my personal shortcomings and faults.  faced with all of this at once, i had no choice but to break down and compartmentalize each aspect of my self.  through this exercise, i came to understand myself better and realize my priorities, goals, needs and desires in a much clearer way.  now, with a more solid foundation, i am able to build myself back up and, utilizing all of new york's unique resources, create my best, most melodic self.